Wednesday, 3 September 2014

MRI #3 is done!

Well I said my good-bye's to the technicians at the MRI desk - I had my last appointment today - did the pelvic MRI with Gadolinium - took about an hour of painful pain staying as still as possible in the worst position for my back and I didn't get a call today so to me that means - nothing urgent and it's all good. I'll check in for results later this week and next just wait for the Infectious diseases appointment later in September... we will figure this all out, glad to be done with the MRI's - now I will get some sleep!

Friday, 29 August 2014

I'm back

Super long blog break that was.

40 hasn't quite been going to plan, I'm not sure where I left off but will start in the middle.

I started having some pretty intense back pain around April, only at night and when I would wake up. I tried massage, chiropractors, anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers, creams, ice, heat, a month off of lifting completely and weeks without any squats or deadlifts - you get the picture. I had an x-ray which showed gas in my discs - apparently this means I had an injury of some type. Then I went for a pelvic MRI which showed tarlov cysts on my nerve roots, cervical cysts and some "thing" about 2cm x 1.7cm x 1cm which I need to have a follow up MRI with dye to determine if it's a nerve shaft tumour - this is scheduled for next week.

Then I had a lumbar MRI - this showed a bunch of stuff that narrows down to degenerative disc disease and stenosis - oh and some cyst on my spleen for which they referred me for an abdominal ultrasound - after that they referred me to an Infectious diseases clinic to test for some parasite I might have gotten when living in Australia - that is next month.

But what does this all mean for lifting... well I've never had a weight lifting friendly doctor so I have a hard time taking any of their suggestions to heart - they've always told me not to lift weights period but I do have a weight lifting friendly chiro who basically told me that as far as squats and deadlifts go I will have to stick with 50% of my max weight on those moves with perfect form if I want to keep lifting otherwise I have a year tops before my back really gets injured - I've worn it down too much. Not that I'm totally convinced of that advice either  but I'll take it.

Some of the pain I think is from the osteoarthritis and losing some of the pounds I've put on will help with the morning pain but I am concerned with the pain when I lay down, some nights I stay up as long as I can because sleeping is painful. I spent a good month sleeping on an air mattress too as I was able to stay in bed longer on it.

I should have a better idea where I am at in about 4 weeks and I can't wait. Actually I'm a bit nervous about next week - I'm sure this thing is not a tumour but nobody has told me what the alternative is and what one does about it so it's a bit of an unknown to me. I figure if I don't hear that day it's likely not a tumour and is good news so hopefully Wednesday is quiet.

I'm trying to get a half decent workout together without squats and deadlifts and figure out my own macros and be patient as I know my stress level isn't helping out with how I feel physically let alone mentally.... hoping that blogging is going to help me get back on track in many ways....

Friday, 18 April 2014

wow - that was a big break...

Well I haven't written because I haven't felt like it.

The year started out pretty rocky - my Uncle went into hospital with the flu - which can be a complication of chemo but he expectantly died after 10 days in hospital. He was one of my biggest fans of my figure competitions and a grandfather figure to my girls as well as just being darn hilarious and fun to be around. It was shocking and so sad and took us by surprise. It's all so fragile.

My mom moved to Ontario, my daughter turned 5, I turned 40, signed up for a powerlifting competition, had some health problems, had an endometrial biopsy (which I don't recommend to anyone - was one of the most not fun things I've ever done) and found out my hormones are totally messed up. So I've spent the last 10 days feeling sorry for myself, without motivation and my specialist appointment is at the end of the month.

But it's a long weekend and my family is getting together tomorrow - nobody in our house is sick (knock on wood now!) and I am so grateful for this. I plan to have a lovely day tomorrow and then go on autopilot with my nutrition and workouts, go through the motions even if I don't feel like it and mentally I will catch up with my actions and feel all the better for it. 10 days of moping is plenty, time to shake it off....

So grateful for these rays of sunshine...

Sunday, 5 January 2014

Back to it

Well it's the eve of the official end of the holidays.
The girls are back at school tomorrow... I have gotten the outfits ready, made the lunches and almost forgot to put the backpacks together but just remembered now... I am physically back at work tomorrow too.. which looks like it will be a slushy, wet and cold commute. BUT it also means - order... much more order to my day.
I am still aiming for a competition this year - physique I'm hoping, but I'm also OK if it doesn't happen or happens later than May. I'm feeling old and tired and am not in a hurry which is ok for today... expecting to get back to my old self in approximately 1.5 weeks - this is how long I think it will take me to reenter the regular workday world.....
Will keep you posted on that projection...

The girls feeding chickadees at the Royal Botanical Gardens

Friday, 27 December 2013

Winding down 2013

Well its been a busy month, Jon was out of the country for a week which happened to be the week everything happened... swimming lessons, geometry test, spelling test, family tree project, christmas concert, and then I had to work every day trying to do the school drop offs and pick ups... anyways I was tired at the end of that... Jon came home, I had some big meetings then got sick, then the girls got sick then it was Christmas, ice storm, we missed Christmas with my family and spent Christmas Eve waiting at the clinic and pharmacy then a quiet Christmas at our house.
Back at the gym now and on plan with my meals - spent to today at the Royal Botanical Gardens - winterfest - it was so cool, the girls had birds eating out of their hands.
Feeling good to be back in the swing of things...

Friday, 6 December 2013

so much in a short time...

So it's like going on vacation, a cruise, eating whatever you want, seconds at the dessert buffet and not weighing any of your portions except that I didn't go on a cruise or on vacation... but I feel great - ready to come back to reality and start back on a plan.

Took some time off from the gym too which is what I needed as well - I went back for the first time today and got back in - feeling strong and not exhausted which was great - tomorrow I'll tackle shoulders.

I also went to my first power lifting practice - which was totally awesome! I benched 150lbs with really really bad power lifting form so hopefully that means I can lift alot more with good form - an awesome group of people - I can't wait to get started with them but it won't be until after my first ever physique show in March, April or May.... then I want to do the Niagara power lifting meet in August and maybe round it out by  learniung to tango or salsa (but not competitively...)  and that will be the year I turned 40....  It's going to be a great year

Sunday, 24 November 2013

This year vs last year

Well - I figured out how to put two pictures together to combine them.
I'm not as impressed as I had hoped I would be - I thought my gains were more visible but there is over 10 lbs difference in these pictures and I think I look healthier this time round and on the other hand not as lean as I should have been for this show.

I'm still hoping to do the physique show in March - there are two, one open and one Natural. I'm also still looking for a coach so I've been a bit wishy-washy trying to set up my own macros etc - hopefully by next weekend I'll know if I have a coach.. It will help with my compliance to a plan (having a plan...)

Friday, 22 November 2013

Sunday, 17 November 2013

a change of the plan

Well I wasn't blogging as I was waiting to see how I placed in the IDFA show but it's still not posted. I've seen some pictures and I just wasn't close to being lean enough so am not expecting a great placing. The real big news though is that I'm not doing the London show next weekend. I want to be bringing my best package and right now I know I'm not there and we have decided to get a proper urn for our daughter's ashes which is about 500 dollars more expensive than I anticipated, given the closeness to Christmas, competing out of town costs and just plain competing costs, new purchased house etc.

 It seems like the best idea to put it on the backburner so while looking at shows for 2014 I came across the Toronto Championships which is March 15, 2014 - 6 days after I turn the big 4-0 and my mom will be in Ontario by then and can come to a show!!! and the show is in Mississauga - everything is lined up...I can't wait!!

Some pics in the meantime

Sunday, 10 November 2013

one down, one to go

Well I'm 13 days out of the London show, I change my mind about every 20 minutes whether I'll do it or not. 
I didn't end up placing at the IDFA show but I wasn't really expecting to, I had a blast though and was very happy with the package I brought and knew I wasn't quite lean enough. I'm not sure I'll be lean enough for the London show either but I'll likely go through with it anyways.
I have my last routine practice today - I need alot of help with it and am hoping she can pound some of these moves in my head. I'm off tomorrow and really could use it so I'm looking forward to it. 

Today will be rough and long, it's the anniversary of the worst day of my life but I will get through it for another year, it doesn't get easier - you just get used to it.

Saturday, 2 November 2013

almost showtime #1

Well - it's about 2 hours till my show starts and about 4 hours until I'm probably on.

It's been a rough week and I haven't prepped the way I wanted to this week - it had me really down and if my family hadn't already bought tickets to attend I think I would have backed out. But they did and I'm here and I'm glad.

We arrived last night - ended up getting hotel for both nights because of crappy weather and well, it just made more sense. My hair and makeup are done and I love it and I feel about 10lbs lighter with the tan which is awesome. All I'm worried about now is being a bit flat. But I'm happy with how I look, there are some amazing looking women here tonight and I'm not expecting to place but am having alot of fun and can't wait to get up there - sort of - I'm a bit nervous too!!!

Thursday, 24 October 2013

my suit, my suit, my suit

It has arrived.
I love it so much I have informed my family I want to be buried in it. My plan was to sell it but at this point I'm not sure I'll be able to part with it so it might be the suit I wear for the next 10 years....

I've been sick, my voice comes and goes but I've managed to get my workouts in, I'm puffy though and hopefully that will disappear in the next 8 days....

I'm not as lean as I'd like to be for this first show but I will have fun and hopefully lean out a bit more before the next show (3 weeks and 8 days!!!)

Saturday, 19 October 2013

I'm here

Well it feels like it's been ages and I think it has.
I'm not sure where to start but I can say I'm not as lean as I should be at this point, but I'm going to just do the best I can for the next 5 weeks (until London show) and do the IDFA show in 2 weeks anyways - goodness knows I need the practice.
We have moved house and I have no idea where all my cords are yet and I think it's a sign but the scale is not operational after the move, for the better I think!! SO that means I can't post pictures until I find it - that's probably for the better too!!
We are slowly making a home - we desparately need curtains though - we're like a fishbowl at night, interesting for the neighbours I'm sure. Zoe's birthday parties were great, so far 7 is a great year, Zoe has another commercial coming out and Jon and Belle got shortlisted for a print ad. I actually did an audition but I don't think I was lean enough for that either but it was fun - definitely a career move for me - but it was fun.
2 weeks today and 5 weeks today!!! pretty cool!

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Ups and downs

Somehow I don't remember last years prep being quite the emotional roller coaster as it is this year - no that's not right - the prep is not a roller coaster, the rest of my life is....

I'm having doubts that I'll be ready for these competitions but I'm doing them anyways - my goal is to be better than I was last year and I'm already healthier, have more muscle and I think my posing is better, now give me 6 and 9 more weeks and I think I might just be competition for my last year self which is all I can ask for. .... there pep talk given and I'm ready to take on the week.

I had some wonky blood work results come back on Friday, went for retests and am preparing myself for the confirmation of said results tomorrow with a dr call. I spent Friday feeling sorry for myself and ate a bunch of smarties, which in turn made me feel crappy about myself. I think I've shaken it off now and have 6 weeks to bust it out for figure and another 3 after that to nail physique and see some of my friends I haven't seen in years and years! I can't wait for that part, though quite nervous for them to see me on stage, a bunch of strangers is easier...

Operation 5 weeks 6 days out is beginning NOW....

Friday, 13 September 2013

It's been a bit and a half...

I don't know where to start I've put off blogging for a couple weeks now - partly because I'm frustrated, partly because I'm stressed and partly because I'm just busy and tired... I'm 7 weeks out, not doing the Hamilton show because we bought the new house and move it possibly on that date, I don't have my routine down and the IDFA show looks to be a fun one to do a week later - also I'm not as lean as I had hoped I would be at this point, I'm slightly frustrated but trying to just go with it - been very stressed out lately and I don't think that is helping in any way.
Legs are not leaning out in any shape or form and I need to get the heels out to start practising...
Jon's movie is almost done, Zoe's commercial is done and hoping to get back to some normalcy...

More pull ups in the kitchen - problem is that Zoe didn't tape the first set of 10 and everyone wanted their bedtime story read so I only had about 30 seconds of rest before this set (this is my excuse why I only did 4)

I can't wait to see how the video below ends.... :)  I haven't updated it for about over a  year..

Saturday, 24 August 2013

It's all a bit of a blur

This past week has been something else.
Last weekend we unexpectedly put an offer on a house then spent a stressful 5 days trying to get things in order and make sure we really wanted the house. I read a zillion reviews on house inspectors as I wanted the most impartial one around - it's an older house and I wanted to know exactly what we were getting ourselves into. I picked an awesome inspector and turns out we feel pretty good. Financing was easy even though I have only been at my new job for 4 weeks and their standard probation period is 6 months... in the end this all worked - but the end was Friday afternoon... during all of this paperwork and such I had to work, go to Halifax and back, present big ideas and get feedback, Zoe and Jon got called in for an audition together, which suddenly reminded me that I don't have SIN numbers for the girls and Zoe's Australian passport has expired...
Jon has been shooting in his movie - he got a lead role as a serial killer and is sporting an amazing 70's mustache, I won't be sad to see it go, not that I'm counting the days down or anything (19..)

Finally had some movement with the scale though I'm not feeling confident that I will be lean enough for the first show (9weeks today!!!)

Today took the girls to the gym, park for a picnic, splashpad and shopping for pencil cases and running shoes for back to school - was a great day!

9 weeks out!
Picnic with the ladies

splashpad splashing

Halifax from the taxi

Friday, 16 August 2013

It's been a while...

Things have been busy!

Last week worked in Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal all in one week - this week was Calgary and Toronto, next week is Halifax and Toronto then I get a whole week in Toronto. It's all been very good and productive though and best part is I got to visit with my mom on my Vancouver trip. She is looking fantastic and it was such a treat to see her - it had been 10 months since I saw her last and since then she had her other knee surgery which she claims has made her taller, I'm not so sure about taller but she looks fantastic! Go mom!!

This week I did Calgary in one day which turns out to be a really really long day, next time I will stay the night. I went to my great aunt's funeral which turned to be a lovely day - she was such a neat lady and the conversation that followed at lunch was perfect - I think she would have enjoyed it, the smart lady she was.

Training is going well - but we have joined a new gym so my workouts are a bit different due to different equipment etc - so that takes a bit to get used to - I'm a creature of habit and like routine but I am adjusting. I also want to adjust my workouts as I now have 2 HIIT sessions a week so I'm going to tackle that after this post :)

And lastly just to keep things hectic - we decided to put an offer in on a house - since moving right before my competitions sounded like it would keep things interesting.....

Tomorrow - workouts, and a family BBQ, Sunday - workouts and a family Zoo trip - busy weekend but I'm looking forward to it!

Sunday, 4 August 2013

Lots of rain and then a gorgeous long weekend

Back to busy busy busy - but still balanced - I'm happy.

Work is going fantastic, training is going well, diet is just "OK", the girls are doing great, the basement seems to be getting more and more leaks every time it rains, has me reading everything about mould in houses....

We've changed gyms and this month have the overlap, so we get to go to 2 gyms if we like! The new gym is super cheap and will have 24 access set up by the end of the month, it's just a block away. No gym daycare but they don't mind if we bring the girls in with their activities and they just sit there and hang out. We went on Friday night - the whole family - and we were the only ones there so the girls ran all around the mats, did pull ups on the TRX equipment, push ups and were just plain entertaining. I was doing sprints that day and was less than enthusiastic about this - in the middle of a sprint when I was starting to lose speed I looked up and saw Zoe looking at me with her mouth gaping open - so I ran faster and pushed it, she said "You impress me mommy" and I got another 10 seconds out. It felt so good.

I'm now 12 weeks out - which freaks me out - I have to smarten up with my diet and I think I'll be fine.

Today - it looks like gym, costco and visiting my great aunt in hospital again - she had a stroke last weekend but did wake up, she's likely bed-ridden this visit but I'm looking forward to seeing her again - she is one amazing lady..

Saturday, 27 July 2013

one of my favourite things

One of my favourite things about getting ready for a competition is the transformation - every week really liking my body at whatever stage its at and thinking - yep this is my favourite look and then a couple weeks later liking that look just as much. It's a bit weird. But right now I'm sitting at 140lbs, last year at 140 lbs I felt fluffy and definitely wasn't loving my look but not disliking it - I just didnt' feel as muscular or strong as I do this year at 140. Last year I competed at 125 - I'm thinking I won't be that low this year though - we'll see how it turns out but I'm hoping 130 is more like it.
My legs are not leaning out at all - yet. Diet has been rough this week - I think my hormones are a bit all over the place - going to have to really concentrate.
It's a tough stretch right now - I'm trying to keep distracted, last year I didn't have an instragram account - didn't know as many of the blogs as I do now, didn't follow the pros as much and was just thrilled with my progress, this time around I find I'm comparing myself to others sometimes and feeling really small and silly for thinking I can do the physique thing this year. I just have to put it away and put my head down and do it, stop comparing myself to others and just do what I do and have fun doing it - that's my plan for the week...

My first cardio session in ages! 
Shoulder Saturdays...

All dressed up after the gym

Friday, 26 July 2013

1st cardio session in 15 months

Well I did it - I was nervous and scared but I did it, well almost I suppose but I'm still calling it a victory.
I was supposed to do 15 sprints and I did 12. I am walking much like a mummy or frakenstein since I did legs on Wednesday. Very proud of myself. After the 4th one I was feeling like it would never end but time just kept passing and it did come to an end - next week I will try for 15 again..

Spent the rest of the day driving up to visit my great aunt in the hospital, she has a broken hip and is not recovering all that well but I'm happy to note that she is looking great for 98 years old. She is still on top of things but more tired than I've ever seen her. It made me cry, alot. She is an amazing woman with the best stories I feel bad that I'm forgetting them already. I'm planning to go up again next weekend - I'm not sure she'll be going home again.

Tomorrow is back at the gym - not doing cardio :) and hooking up with my very cool friend Victoria in the bustling downtown core of Burlington - I can't wai!